Operation Pack

Oh packing. It's much more of a job than I thought. Now that I'm married, I have so much more stuff than I ever had before. When Kevin and I got married, he moved in with his Jetta VW partially full of stuff. He had some clothes, a basketball, and a fan. I bet this was a little shocking to him as we moved our stuff into a 10'x12' storage unit. He is doing a wonderful job at hauling boxes. He'll have his personal things packed in 1/2 an hour. This is day 2 for me. :) Granted, the rest of the stuff is really "ours". But you know, all of the pretty dishes and picture frames and decorations were on account of me. 

Demons under the Radar

My patient came back from the shower with a booming laughter and smile. "OOO it feels good to be clean!" My African American patient had a wonderful booming voice and a hearty belly laugh. You know, that kind where they throw their head back... It made the whole unit smile.

Then, just 30 minutes or so later, she was having chest pain and was having a hard time breathing and her eyes were all glazed looking. She was freaking out. She had just come back from a nuclear stress test that was normal. Her cardiac enzymes, negative. ECG, normal. She called for me to come in and was telling me about the pain and asking for something for it. You see, all of the reports from her history and physical says she's been in the hospital hundreds of times for drug seeking. She has all of the risk factors for heart disease. In leu of her factors, she could have a heart attack at any time. She needs to have those tests every time. But all of her tests keep coming back negative, just like this time.

During our training in Michigan we learned about Spiritualism. And in other countries it seems so prevalent. Spirits actually manifest themselves in obvious ways in other parts of the world. We don't see that as much over here in the states. Not like that anyway. Instead we just choose not to believe in those sort of ghost stories. We'll just go to the doctor instead. In fact we'll go to the doctor over and over and over. Finally someone decides that the issue is psychological. A consult is ordered and medications get ordered. The diagnosis? Bipolar. Sczitsophrenia. Depression. Just medicate them. All of the "frequent flyers", you know, the crazy ones?

Earlier that day this patient of mine told me about God and how He had saved her life, and how he had been there for her mother and father. She loves the Lord. So when she started to freak out I grabbed her hand and wanted to try to calm her down. "Look at me." I said, "Look at me and breath with me. Breath in through your nose and out of you mouth." I administered Ativan IV and asked her some questions and she wasn't really talking, just kind of glazed over and very anxious.... So I told her I was going to pray for her. She slightly nodded her head. I prayed that the Holy Spirit be with her right now and that heavenly angels would come surround her and help bring her peace. I asked that if there was any negative influence of the devil that by the power of Jesus Christ she be freed and protected. I prayed for her family. She had mentioned them earlier and how the whole situation was really making her depressed. 

Praying didn't seem to stop anything right away, neither did the Ativan. But eventually she calmed back down and was relaxed. I'm in the medical field and am a believer in modern health science. But should that always be our first resort? It seems like we really don't believe enough to pray first thing, or at all. We talked about this in training and now that I'm back at work, I see it. There are so many people wanting to be made well. But too many people don't believe that God or Satan have anything to do with it. Isn't that exactly the lie Satan has used here? Ok, so maybe we're too "smart" and "educated" for the actual spirit manifestations like in other countries, but how about making us believe that they don't exist at all! That way it's all undercover. And to add to that, the medications "quiet" down the symptoms. Even more under the radar. 

Do we really believe that all authority in Heaven and on Earth belongs to Christ? And that nothing is impossible with God? It seems like we've gotten impatient with Him somehow and that we've taken things into our own hands instead. Wouldn't it be amazing what would happen in the Psyche wards and on the streets and in the Hospitals if we went to God first? And if we truly had the faith that God wants to give us, so that we can have the power of the Holy Spirit casting out hidden demons of depression and bipolar disorder? 

I am very new at this. I know that I just gave Ativan to her before I prayed. But I am going to believe that Ativan won't work nearly as well unless the power of the Holy Spirit and the name of Jesus Christ aren't on board first. 

Building up the Body; Someone help me!

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood and sisterhood in the world." 1 Peter 5:6-9

I think about this text after catching up with a dear, dear friend Emily. She always gets me thinking and I always come away from spending time with her inspired and thoughtful.

Our pride really doesn't make sense. In first aid we learn how to save someone if they are choking. We learn the Heimlich maneuver. And do you remember how we are taught? First you go up to the person choking and ask, "Are you choking? Can I help you?" Have you ever been the choking person? Even if you haven't, can you imagine being that person and shaking your head no, as if to say, "No, it's ok. I'm ok." While our face turns purple? It doesn't make sense to do that. You could die, your life, in a very real sense, is in danger We don't deny that kind of help. What are we going to do, try to act like we're not choking and then try to figure out how to overcome this problem on our own? Do we think, "You know, the person trying to help me right now probably has never been in this situation. They really don't understand what I'm going through. How could they help me?" No. We don't say that. Why? Because when we are choking and in respiratory distress it doesn't make sense to deny help that could save our lives.

So why do we think that when we are struggling in life we don't want people to know about it? Why is it that we feel alone in the issue, so full of shame that we don't even talk about it. Or that we don't want anybody's help. I know that I've felt all of those things. Sometimes I even have felt bitter about people around me. Somehow I didn't trust them with my feelings and thoughts. People that were my team, my family, I didn't trust.

Well, someone might argue, that it's valid that we don't trust people. People aren't trustworthy. I am not promoting telling everyone everything and calling that confessing to one another. I'm saying that in an environment where it is safe to go to someone and talk about issues, we encourage one another and grow closer to each other. I'm also not promoting sharing for the sake of relating. For example, I know as girls we tend to feel close to each other when one of us shares something vulnerable with the other person and we feel honored to have been shared to. So in turn, we find something vulnerable to share back for the sake of honoring that person or relating to them by sharing with them as well. We have to be careful that it doesn't turn into a pity party or gossip fest. 

It's just that I've been so amazed lately by stories I've heard and things that I've experienced where when we share a struggle, at least 2 positive things can happen. 1. We get help. We are encouraged and maybe start the journey into taking the next step in our lives to being closer to Jesus, to being free from sin. Because that's what struggles are right? It's when we are literally bound and trapped in some sort of sin issue, whether it be very concrete like addictions of some kind, or very abstract and convoluted. But if we can be encouraged and PRAYED for and lifted up and ANOINTED into the hands of God, He is mighty to set us free. And the second thing, we grow closer and together we are stronger. If we share in that struggle we actually realize that the LIES that satan tells us about our struggles are truly lies. We are not alone, or some freak of sin or whatever. People have gone before us and are in it with us now. The pressures that make us feel like we have to be perfect are false compared to what really should drive us to perfection; the Holy Spirit in us. (Another topic)

When I was at training and having a particularly hard time, I was talking to one of the staff, John Baxter, and was explaining all of the things I was struggling with and how frustrated I was and how it felt impossible to go to the mission field like this! He was listening to me calmly and replied, "Well good. I'm glad to know you're human. Uh, hello, you are actually normal." Huh... it's interesting to me how that hit me. Some things are so cliche' sometimes and even if we've heard them before, sometimes it just hits us like a surprise. Because man! A few days earlier, It sure didn't feel like anyone else was feeling the way I was! I felt like I was in a room full of excited people, near the end of training that were all on this big spiritual high, feeling like they could go out and do anything! It seemed to me like everyone else had already shared their struggle and had overcome it and oops, too bad, I missed that bus, too late to have the struggle sharing time, now it's on to moving forward! And to being strong! And having the feeling of joy in the Lord! 

But John had good encouragement for me. I was normal. People were actually feeling the same way I was. It was a couple days later when Jacquie shared some struggles to the group and I was amazed at her strength to share with everyone! And it really convicted me that I had not gone to that body of believers, my team, for help. I had to apologize. I felt bad that I hadn't trusted them with my struggles. And when I apologized, Chelsea came up to me afterwards and told me she was surprised that I was feeling that way because I had hidden those feelings and that she was feeling that way too! I ended up feeling so encouraged by her and thankful that I had the opportunity to encourage her as well. 

Man. I almost missed it. And maybe I only got a piece of that one, but we miss out on really encouraging someone else who might be going through the same struggles or similar ones when we keep it to ourselves and put on our I've got to be "perfect" faces. And to go in that same vein, God's timing is crazy good! I've heard soooo many stories of how our struggles turn out to be blessings to others in the long run. Emily just told me a story like that, Dale Goodson had an incredible story like that. It seems to happen that God puts us into situations where he needs us to share our struggles so that can reach someone who is struggling. Isn't that why God sent Jesus to the earth? So that he would be like man to reach us? He dwelt among us and struggled so he could encourage us and help us in the next step to freedom, away from sin and closer to the presence of God!

This is why this works! This is why a true body of believers works! To encourage one another and build each other up. To go through trials together and to learn from each other. It was Christ's method! He designed it for us to use as well. We actually NEED each other. 

So pride really is a silly thing. Jesus humble me, help me. Help this body of believers grow up strongly.  

AFM training; 2009 Student/Short Term Missionaries

To this wonderful family,

May we continue to encourage and lift each other up in prayer and communication! Each person here has a special place in this training experience. We are about to spread out all over the world! I pray that we remember what we've learned and build on it more an more.