Finding Strength in Weakness

Mosquito's to me, are like little demons. They like the dark, their persistent, and their whole goal is to get our blood. They are especially annoying when they whisper their buzzing in our ear. The bible says, “Life is in the blood” (Lev 17:11), having malaria gives me a new appreciation of this.

I am feeling weak, I don't know if its malaria again but my strength feels like it has been zapped away. I tried working out to see if it was just a mind thing...but the attempt left me defeated and on my back. Its hard for me to feel so weak so often. I am accustomed to being healthy and feeling strong. At home I went for years with little more than a cold but here its like I can't even make it a month without being immobilized by malaria. Right now its not so bad and I am not sure if I have malaria, but my lack of strength is discouraging.

James 5:16 says, “Confess your weaknesses to one another, and pray for one another that you may be healed.” We recently heard a story that illustrates this point. A missionary couple and their children were dropped off in the jungle of the vast land of Paupa New Guinea. The pilot who dropped them off later told his wife that he didn't think they would make it three weeks. The pilot had radio contact with the missionaries and for months he would ask, “How are you doing” and the reply would always be, “fine.” But the truth was they weren't fine and were actually really struggling. Because the pilot did not know this, he assumed he had just misjudged them, therefore he stopped praying for them with the intensity that they actually needed.

It has always been difficult for me to admit when I am struggling . Like the missionaries in this story, my natural inclination is to always say, “I am fine.” But the truth is we need continued prayer. We have been hit physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Physically with malaria and the accompanying exhaustion. Emotionally with depression and feelings of inadequacy. And spiritually with lack of desire to persevere through these struggles.

However we know that we are in a battle. And as in any true war, soldiers can expect to take some hits. Our struggle, “Is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil the heavenly realms.” (Eph 6:12) Spiritual things are spiritually discerned (1 Cor 2:14), in like manner spiritual battles must be fought out and won spiritually.

We can take heart because, “This is what the lord says to us: Do not be afraid or discouraged...For the battle is not your, but God's.” (2 Chr 20:15) It is a privilege to be a soldier in the lord's army, but I am thankful that the outcome of the war is not dependent on my ability as a soldier. It is not by our might, nor by our power, but by God's spirit that we are successful. (Zec 4:6). And God says to us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Because of this I can say with the apostle Paul, “For Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor 12:9-10)

If it takes my weaknesses to make me humble, and more reliant on God then I accept that. Soldiers must go through training to prepare for war. And the more elite the army the more intense the boot camp. In the same way God trains us through a humbling and chastening process. “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterworlds it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Heb 12:11)

Its not that God creates the hardships to humble us. On the contrary God's plans are to “prosper and not to harm, and to give us a hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11) Its only because of sin, the antonym of the very essence of God, that hardships exist in this world. The purpose of training is to incorporate the reality of hardships in a controlled setting. This enables the soldier to be confident that they are prepared and have been equipped to handle the attacks of the enemy. Jesus says, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (Jn 16:33)

Our fight is for restoration, redemption, and rest. Humanity has been compromised with disease and death. Satan, like a malarious mosquito, has infected us with weakness. In our own strength we have no hope. But as a soldier under the banner of the Christian flag we have the distinct advantage of knowing who wins. God says in that day, “There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Rev 21:4) That day is worth fighting for!

For those who like me, are feeling tired and weak Jesus says, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” (Matt 11:28) (Jer 31:25) I am weak but I know the One who is strong and I am thankful that His power is made perfect in weakness. Because of this I can say when I have fallen, “Rejoice not over me my enemy; when I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the lord will be a light to me.” (Mic 7:8)