Arlin

Arlin

This is Arlin. She is the girl who was going to stay with me (Danelle) while Kevin was in Emrang for 2 weeks. Her guardian, however, the patriarch of the village of Niyug (Sunye, who I’ve mentioned breifly in a previous post) would not let her stay. The sad thing about that is that she uses her and her brother pretty much for slaves. Arlin is the youngest of 5. I don’t know how she became an orphan, but she is. Her next oldest brother, Kalbu, is in the process of building his own house so he is soon to be on his own. Arlin is also the girl who was our guide and hiked in with us at the beginning.

The Georges are so amazing. Even though they have only officially adopted Jillin, (actually spelled Dyilin, there’s no J in the Palawano language) they have really been so much to a lot of people here. It’s curious to me too, why Arlin and Kalbu got taken in by a guardian when they have older siblings that are married and have kids. I don’t know if they chose not to or if it’s a cultural thing.

I guess I have felt a bond with Arlin since the very beginning. She’s the one who hiked in with us and she’s the one who was going to be my roommate, my language helper, my little sister etc. I was looking forward to her. And while it ended up working out fine that I was by myself. The fact that she was an orphan made me want to love on her even more. Especially since her guardian is manipulative and might just be using her.



I always try to give her good attention. Since this culture is pretty affectionate anyway, it’s easy to give her loving affection. And she is SUCH a joker. They have nicknames here. Two people decide what their nicknames for each other will be, and it is only between them. It could be anything. Joha’s and Lebin’s is Inik, which means duck. Since we joke a lot, I thought our nickname for each other could be unka??? Which means joke. So when I called her that and tried (very feebly tried with my feeble language skills) to explain that that could be our nickname, she told me that I was her Indu’, her mother and Kevin was her Ama’, her father.

I have mixed feelings on this actually. In one way it is so sweet. She always is telling me that she loves me, even if it is after a joke or her laughing at my inability to talk clearly. But the other night was the first time she called me Indu’. Kevin and I have talked before that it must be tough to be an orphan, and then get a chance, just for 2 weeks to maybe get a break and then not get it. And then maybe to see Jillin and her story of adoption and wonder if a story like that would ever happen to her. After all, Kevin and I are the only other missionaries up here that are married.

I would love to be a “mother” to her this year. I was actually thinking older sister, but maybe it’s not the same in this culture. We have in America Big Brother and Big Sister programs, but I don’t think it’s the same here. At the same time though, it made me pause for thought when she called me mother. Minan (Leonda) had mentioned once that they cry and cry when missionaries leave. Some don’t get too attached because they know they might leave and not come back. But it’s hard not to bond here. And I want to bond here. But what if her hearts desire is something I can’t give her? What if she gets attached to me so much this year, but then when we leave her heart will just be broken? Is the year of bonding worth it? How can I be careful enough to love her and to show her Christ and to lift her up maybe like she’s never been lifted up before, but to also be careful with her heart? Should I not give her special attention? Not that I do obviously, but maybe I do quietly. I’m comfortable with her. I’ll sit next to any of the girls and love on them and let them snuggle me, but with Arlin it’s different. It’s my purpose to have her exposed to the love of Christ and the worth that she has in Him and in fact, she is very much wanted by a Father who can love her like none other. It’s amazing to think that I have that kind of opportunity. So I just pray for her and pray for wisdom in how to handle her fragile heart; her fragile heart that’s so goofy and loves to laugh, but obviously wants to love safely and wants to be wanted.